Get ready to laugh...or cry

2006-05-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah! I'm a believer!!!

THAT'S RIGHT, my long run as an athiest is over!

"How?" you say...well, allow me to explain my train of thought here.

It's pretty simple. I'm standing under, what I hope, is the last dingle-berry from god. He's already unloaded quite the pile onto me and he's about ready to wipe, but before that can happen, he must shake all stragglers off his holy ass. "WIPE and get it over with!" Pretty soon, I'll be flushed and hanging out with the other shitheads.

I'm convinced I've got a neon sign over my head, which only god and the mighty Thor can see. When did I come up with this theory? On the way to work this morning...on my bike...in the rain. Mon: didn't rain, had a car. Tues: didn't rain, had a car. Wed: rained as I had to ride my bike back from work. Thur: see Wed. Fri: rained on my way to work and with my recently aquired faith, it shall rain on the way home!

NOTE: This is not my original post...that was erased two or three days ago, as I wrote it. Coincidence? I think not!

2006-01-06T17:14:00.000-07:00

"Merry New Year! Beefa Jerky Time!"

It's Been a while. Since the last post, I turned 26, another christmas has come and gone, as did another year (simply by date, not the period of time between now and the last post), I drove to California and flew back. It has been busy, to say the least.

The old celebration of my birth was grand! A big thanks to those who made it out! Twas a short list, but you know when it's a short list, those people mean a lot! Or, I'm lame...both of which are true, but I do believe my friends are the most important things in my life...other than beer of course ;) I didn't bring my camera that night, so I'll attach a picture that captures some of the fun had.

I was so pumped my buddy Kevin could make it! He even brought his popp'n fresh "homie" P-Doughy. Needless to say, we had a grand old time.

Christmas was somewhat uneventful, since I had to work... I had some family out for it though, so when I was around everyone, I had a good time! Again, I forgot my camera, so I'll have to attach a picture that only scratches the surface of x-mas.

Get it...child labor! Ok, off to hell I go!

New Years Eve day I hit the slopes at Winter Park with Pea and Phonjamin. It was a great time! We were all (and continue to be, I suppose) in horrible shape, so the day was long and we were extremely sore the rest of the night and the following 3 days (for me anyway!).
Here are a couple of great pictures from Winter Park... Believe it or not, I meant to make that face, I wasn't backin anything out ;)

After the Slopes we went back to my cabin where we played the waiting game. Everyone eventually arrived and we began our celebration! Annie got a little crazy (as usual) and started crafting! Thinking she was already too out of control, she one-upped me and went to bed at 11pm...with good reason I might add! You didn't miss much, Annie. I think Pitner (sp?) wins the out of control award. One may ask, "what possesses someone to jump into a pile of snow face first...just to see what it feels like?" Then, one may answer, "ask Pitner...she may know!" I have the video to prove it! One may also ask, "why in hell would somebody take Elmers Glue and glue a piece of felt to their upper lip?!" I know I'd answer that question like this : "oh dear lad, you are so nei...nie...nai...inexperienced! The reason is simple! All you have to do is listen to Hoobastank and you'll know The Reason!"

My new year began with a road trip to Santa Cruz, CA. Not as bad as it may seem...especially when you're in good company, listening to Bad Company. Back to school! Kate is starting her last semester (second to last quarter) at UCSC, after an exciting year in Chile. I'm sure it's the last thing she wants to do after getting back from being away for so long...I take that back, I'd be willing to bet the last thing she wants to do is tell somebody about how Chile was again. It's one of the better forms of annoyance though. Once again, no pictures to give vivid detail to an otherwise boring story, so I'll improvise!

Whooooo weeee! Just about that time, those Murphy kids realized they were in for a world of hurt! Luckily, Uncle Jess had rigged that car with a spring-loaded, turbo-charged, double-barreled gumball dispenser!

2005-12-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Hoy estuve muy mal...pero, Casa Bonita esta muy espantoso!

That's right! I went to Casa Bonita yesterday and let me tell you, it was only cool when you could befriend a stick or eat paste and not have any regrets! I wasn't expecting 5-star dining, so I wasn't too let down when it became clear Taco Bell has a better menu and more appetizing food. I don't think I'll be going back there...not any time soon at least! When a "pirate" started hitting on the ladies that were in our group (using his pirate accent) I about died...definitely the highlight of my night! "Put yer tongues back in, me ladies!" said the pirate as we watched the "cliff diver" perform his diving act AND his rock climbing skills (they only hire the best at the casa)! The pirate apparently talked to them for a while, but I had to leave before I laughed in his face! After "dinner" we went to Sam and Abbies new place and played the game "scene it." It's a movie trivia game and it's pretty fun! 2am = bed and 5:40am = getting up to head to work...needless to say, Monday sucked!

Gonna go back in time!

SAM GRADUATED!!! Congrats, Sam! Though I doubt you even know this exists...it's here.

Now, a little something for the ladies! If my witty humor, Greek-like body, vast knowledge of most subjects and/or my overflowing bank account didn't impress you...maybe this will! I have recently acquired a new bedroom set and you could be one of the lucky few (very few) to enjoy a lovely night alone, with me, utilizing all of it! From the brand spankin new queen-sized mattress to the sleigh bed frame. From the cloud-like comforter to the 500 thread-count sheets (yep, 500). So, I ask of you...the women of this world! You, who make life worth living! Sleep in my bed! ;)
The bed has room for two, but only one is using it, please help make this investment worth while! Donations will be accepted each day from anytime to anytime and this is NOT a limited time offer! Ok, in all seriousness, I'm excited to have a decent bed! It's so comfy and after I post this, I'm going to sleep!!

2005-11-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is how we do it...

So, my Turkey day vacation was pretty cool! I had Thursday through Sunday off and I spent the majority of my time at my cabin. But first, lets talk about Wed. night. I left the Ft. at around 1am and headed to Boulder to meet Ben at KGNU, which is the community radio station that Ben volunteers at. We went in and picked out a bunch of music to play during the 3am-5:30am shift. I had a a lot of fun, despite my nervousness at the beginning (Ben assured me that maybe 3 people were listening). Well, two of the three listeners called the station and one was a little psycho and told me about the Ft. Collins radio station playing a German song which talked about the Jews ( I tuned him out since he was making little sense, but I did get this much...he's nuts!). We had one mission that night and that was to play Young MC's "Bust a Move" for Mckayla and we were told to wait 30 min into the show. Well, we waited 45 and she still missed it, so in an attempt to be funny and also give her some sense of actually hearing it, I added this to a conversation Ben and I were having: "Ben, I couldn't help but notice that during that song, you were standing on the wall, like you was poindexter!" I had to muster up every bit of control I had to not laugh...and it's really not that funny. Needless to say, Ben and I had a great time and I'd love to do it again!
Thursday brought me to the cabin. My mom can cook! I'm never dissapointed and always left wanting to shove more food into my belly than is humanly possible...unless you're that Asian guy who eats 50 hotdogs in 30 min. So, after eating, we lounged around. At one point, my dad and I were sitting in our living room area, (in an attempt to convey my dads personality in a few short sentences, I'm going to give details that will seem excessive at first). I had just filled my glass of wine and his was almost gone (my dad, at this point, will divert your attention and take your wine) and we were waiting for a couple people to come over for dessert (he'll also use this knowledge to make diverting your attention easier). I'm wasn't paying attention to him, but all of a sudden he says, "Matthew, look outside! See who's here!" Almost 26 years of knowing him has led me to not believe him when things like this randomly come out of his mouth, so I said, "yeah...right!" He didn't hesitate and said, "No, seriously! Look behind you!" So, I grabbed my glass of wine off the table, expecting the usual outcome of a situation like this, and looked behind me. My 26 years of training didn't prepare me for what was lurking mere feet away.

That's right folks! A frickin moose was checkin me out through the window! I have a bunch of great pictures and there were actually two moo...mee...moose outside the cabin. It was pretty cool, watching a moose in its natural environment, eating birdseed. Everyone knew that's what moose eat, right? Well, if you didn't know, now you do! They also have been known to take picnic baskets, giving bears much more of a bad rap than they are actually responsible for.

Friday was pretty boring up until my dad and I went to the local bar and played some Golden Tee. Shortly after that, Ben came up and the...fun began? I kid, we had a great time, it's just not very fast paced. There was a lot of beer, guitar playing, cribbage, beer and TV. Did I mention the beer?
The rents left Saturday and Ben and I went to Winter Park to fix his glasses that he broke in his sleep the night before...he has the cuts above his eye to prove it ;) Bowling follwed the trip to WP, which was fun and not cheap. I suppose I should say Ben kicked my ass in bowling...but it was me who waxed his ass...in Golden Tee. Did you like the dramatic, misleading pause? After the bars Sat. night, we came back to the cabin and had a jam session. Ben removed some of the table ornaments from a "table" (it's actually a big drum) and we jammed. The one drum wasn't enough for Ben, so he went into the kitchen, grabbed a plastic bowl, a pot and two spoons. He wasn't playing them to their full potential, so I said to him, I says:" Ben, you'd be doing yourself and everyone in here a disservice, if you didn't play the HELL out of those 'drums!'" He shaped up and we played ourselves some "music." Twas good times! And now I'm home, waiting for next weekend and what animal might appear behind me...hopefully it's not a manimal named Ben. OK! I have lost it! Stay tuned for my next post, which will double as an invitation to all women! No details as of now! Peace out, Napolean!

2005-11-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Another one bites the dust.

I'm speaking of weekends...and I just had a great one! Unfortunately, there aren't any pictures. I can, however, paint a picture through my vast vocabulary and my wordsmith skills! Allow me to do so! I had to put this in my blog...simply because it's hilarious!! LMAO!

Friday, after a long day/week at work, I came home and had a few beers before Annie and Pea came to pick my sorry ass up. Before leaving my house, Annie decided to be creepy and try looking up some guy she had met a while back. Oh how easy the internet makes stalking these days! So, after she found out that he had not given her false info, and after a failed attempt at actually contacting him, we decided to head out. We went to the Trailhead for about 10 seconds, which was enough time for me to run into somebody from work and probably make an ass out of myself. A long trek from the Trailhead brought us to the Steakout...maybe 10 feet away. Once inside, beer flowed like wine and balls dropped! Before you make assumptions about the meaning of that last sentence, please let me clarify...I had a few beers and we played pool. In other words, puberty is a crafty foe, to the likes of which I have not yet met! One of these days! We ended up at Peas place that night and I'm surprised I didn't wake up with writing on my face the next morning. I also decided to take out some anger, be it misplaced, on Annie. Again, my bad!

Saturday started early! Since we wanted to make it to the game to tailgate at 10am, I needed to get started EARLY! I woke up at 7 something at Peas and went home, where I slept until 9:30 ;) Tailgating was great! We met a bunch of people there and ate crappy food! Here are a few items we forgot to bring: Ketchup, mustard, spatula, cheese, matches, any utensils, mugs for the apple cider and the list goes on! We made a spatula out of a beer box and had the most bland hamburgers ever...I had two! Before, during and after tailgating, I had the pleasure of talking to Annies and Peas answering machine a number of times! My favorite time was when we were getting ready to go in and I wasn't sure where they were and since my ticket was with them, I thought it was crucial to find them (actually hanging out with them meant nothing to me however ;) ). Well, short story drawn out to mind-numbing length, I wasn't happy, but looked for a ticket in the parking lot. Some douchebag out there had an extra and after I haggled a bit, I ended up spending $10 on it. Not bad. The game was a little bit chilly and a lotta bit windy, so we ended up leaving around the 3rd quarter. I took a short nap at home (which was incredible!) and then Jer and I met up with Marlena, Annie, Pea and Russ at Old Chicagos. We must have shown up right as they were leaving (or I smell), because they decided to move next door to the drunken monkey, so we finished our beer and moved over there too. After a little dancing (if you can call it that), some chatting and some drinking, Jeremy and I were ditched again. We left the drunken monkey and met another friend of mine at Tailgate Tommys (since we hadn't had enough tailgating yet). Here's my description of that place: packed crap-hole. There's one other place that rivals TT's in its meat-market feel and that place is the CSU gym...or Zydehos...or suite 152. My point is, I felt like I wasn't trying hard enough to be what the rest of Ft. Collins clearly thinks is a real man. Ok, maybe I'm blowing that a bit out of proportion, but I painted myself a masterpiece! Jer and I didn't stay there too long before deciding to go to the Trailhead. One beer and one cab ride later, we ended up at Macs (a friend of mine), who was having a party. I had a great time, but I guess Jer didn't agree. So, through the drunken haze, I somehow picked this up and we were calling another cab when Macs roomie offered us a ride. That was the end of a long day!

Sunday at around 12:30 I rolled out of bed after a night of sleep that can only be described as scrumtrulescent! Dreams were vivid, my sheets were especially soft and at a perfect temperature, the sun didn't blaze through my window at its usual laser-like precision and nobody bothered me! Until Sunday, I have only ever dreamt of such perfect sleep! Had I not planned on meeting Annie and Pea for the Broncos game promising to bring guacamole, I would have slept until I had to get up for work today! It turned out to be the best Bronco game ever! I have never laughed so much during a sporting event and I'm doubtful that I ever will again. Sunday highlights: constant jokes regarding my guac stirring methods (these methods are top-secret and cannot be mentioned here) and Pea taking our friendship to the next level...by farting in my face. There were so many other things that had me laughing hysterically, but they were so random I can't recall what they were and I fear they will be forever forgotten...tear. Maybe the steel-trap that is Annies memory will be able to refresh the leaky sieve that is MY memory.

Here's to another brilliant weekend! We simply must do it again! Also, remember: CABIN, FIRST WEEKEND OF DEC. Come one, come all! We'll have a ball! I could take this farther, but I won't!

2005-11-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

Lets play catch-up!

So, the past week has turned out to be quite wonderful! Allow me to share!

It started off with a call to a local radio station on my lunch hour. They were giving away a gift certificate or something to the 9th caller and I thought to myself, "what the hell!" I picked up the phone, dialed the number (as I'm sure you know, this is how you call somebody, but I am a stickler for the mundane details!) and I was caller number 9. So, I have either a gift certificate or just an all around free meal at a restaurant up here in Fort Collins. If anyone would like to join me for a fantastic evening at the Mason st. Crab Shack, give me a call...dinner's on me ;)

Tuesday night I went to a bar, not too far from my house, and, for the second week in a row, sang karaoke. It's a lot of fun and this time I did Neil Diamond, Brother Loves Travelin Salvation Show...or whatever it is. All I know is it's from the movie Lost and Found...so I mocked the guy who went up before me by starting out my karaoke the same way he did, but then I tried to act out the scene from the movie...that lasted about 5 sec. Still, I thought it was hilarious! Wed. at work hurt...

Wed. after work, I hung out with the usual crew + Mckayla, who flew into town to celebrate her new jobby job in Oregon (congrats again!). Twas a good time, which started out with a trip to the Macaroni Grill for some delicious food and childish behavior ::cough::SAM RANDEL::cough::
Sorry, I'm catching a cold...seriously. Where in the world would we go after such a feast?! The same place I was at the night before, of course...needless to say, Thur. morning at work hurt.

Flash forward to Friday night...this night was the debut of my costume...well, many peoples costumes, but lets face it, this is my damn blog and I'll talk about me! ;) Saying it was "hard to walk around," just wouldn't give you the feel for the difficulty and how uncomfortable it really was. So, Imagine walking around bow-legged (but you're not naturally so, therefore you have to push those bad boys out yourself...all night) and with your arms a minimum of 10 inches from your torso, from the elbow. Now, imagine something folding your ears over and pressing them against your head...can you imagine that? Well, that's how it feels to be Optimus Prime!! :) I'm a huge dork and I loved every minute I was in that thing, but it really was uncomfortable! To the left we have the whole group that went to the party. (from left: Rich, Mario, Jeff, Russ, Mckayla, Sam, Abbie, Me). The girl who took this picture was all skanktified...it really was ridiculous what some of the girls were wearing. Really, I'm not complaining, I just never want to be a father now... ;)

We're gonna go ahead and flash again...get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about a flash forward, to Monday...Halloween! This night I went to Sullivans with a couple friends and I had the intention of entering a costume contest. We got there at around 9:30 and found out (by waiting) that the contest didn't start until midnight. During the 2.5 hour period, we stood around and drank...I couldn't sit and I was thirsty. Midnight came and the contest started. One guy judged it based on applause from the audience. To do this, he would bring a contestant up on the pool table and the audience would either scream or...not. It started out with about 15 people and he narrowed it down to 4 in the first round. Since I couldn't get on the pool table, he asked if everyone had seen Optimus Prime already, to which everyone screamed! I was in the final 4. This round (the last round) he would point, listen to the reaction and not say anything regarding his decision...except for me. After two other contestants had been applauded for, he pointed at me again and asked, "who would like to see Optimus Prime win?" The place blew up and he handed me the grand prize, which was (and is, I suppose, seeing as I still have it) a snowboard. I then had some help getting on the pool table, thanked the audience and did a little robot dance.

Here's a picture of our group that night...and me holding my new board! You can't tell, but I'm smiling like this :D

Last night (Tuesday) I had the pleasure of seeing Jamiroquai with some friends...some old and some new. Directly below is a stellar picture of Jordan, Ben and me. The whole, "closing your eyes in pictures" thing, really applies here. Gotta love it! Below the picture of the three morons is a little photo of Jamrioquai. Couldn't tell you what song...and I doubt you care. Am I talking to myself here?

And last, but certainly not least, is a picture of Chris Farley...if you don't get it, well, I feel sorry for you ;)

Ok, here's a huge hint:
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Don't.
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat, Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Take it off dick head Im serious.
Tommy: Richard whats happening(rip) Uh Oh.

Still didn't get it? Do yourself a favor...go rent and watch Tommy Boy. If you do, you won't be sorry! One of the funniest movies I have ever seen! I'd like to give a shout out to James...if you're reading this, I applaud you!

2005-10-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

Say what you mean...mean what you say!

I'm sick of people (certain people) doing something completely different from what they say. If you'd like a circumstance...or three...here you go!

1) Person: "Matt, lets go out!"
Me: "Ok."
Person: "lets take your car, but I'll drive."
Me: "Fine."
::2 hours later::
Me: "How much have you had to drink?"
Person: "I don't know."
::I look at my tab and the $60.00 I can't account for (on 4 for 1's night)::
Me: "You ass! Give me the f&^%$#* keys, you're NOT driving!"

2) Person: "Matt, lets go out!"
Me: "Ok."
Person: "Lets take your car, but I'll drive."
Me: "Fine."
::2 hours later::
Person: "I'm cool"
::"Person" pukes in hand::
Me: "Right. No."
Person: "Are you mad?"
Me: "No, I'm happy. Thanks for putting me in this situation again...how hard is it not to drink your weight in alcohol?! Give me the keys, I'm driving!"

3) Person: "Matt, lets go out!"
Me: "No, I'm going to bed early and I don't want to."
Person: "We'll be back before 11:00."
Me: "Dude, I need my sleep. I'm not going unless you promise"
Person: "Yeah, no problem!"
::8:30::
::11:00, they're playing games and I'm not being included, nor have I bee for a while::
Me: "I'm calling a cab, I have to get home somewhat soon."
::11:30, the cab shows up::
I think to myself, "how in the hell did I NOT see this coming...a broken promise, mislead by "Person" once again...LEARN!!!"

I know I've wasted some time writing this and I won't be getting much sleep (once again), but I needed to vent! Thankfully, "Person" has paid me back for the majority of what he/she owes me. If you know one of the three stories, you know who it is. I'm just pissed because I'm out an hour of sleep (which I have been needing all week...and then some) and I'm also out $15.00 for the cab. Not too much in the grand scheme of things, but I sure could use that hour of sleep! I guess you could say, "Person" is a jackass...

I sound extremely whiny...so I'd like to say that I've been out a couple times this week and I've had minimal sleep, so I was relying on tonight to try and catch up a little...you may rip me apart at will!

2005-10-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

A few things on my mind...

First of all, I hate it when people say "nucular!" Last night I went out with some friends and this girl kept saying "nucular" instead of how it's supposed to be said and how it's actually spelled, "nuclear." Seriously, how hard can it be?! Do people think that just because our own president says it incorrectly, everyone can? Well, if that's the case, my vocabulary is going to take a 180 and I'm going to start doing things in the name of freedom. "I beat him up because he didn't like my freedom." People saying "farmiliar" pisses me off too! There's one "r" in the damn word and it's at the end! Leave it there!

I'd also like to say that I didn't know the girl that was filing away at my nerves and ear drums that well, so I didn't correct her. Every time she said it, I wanted to just say it correctly until she realized what I was doing...instead, I sat there, biting my tongue and hoping the conversation would end or my ears would stop working. Maybe this is blown out of proportion a bit, I have a tendency to do that, but shit, how hard?!

Nothing else really pisses me off right now...I have some good news too! My phone sucked...the 4 button didn't work well and neither did another couple buttons, SO I went out and bought myself a new phone! It's pretty much the best phone ever! Like anyone could know that! But it is awesome...it takes pictures and videos, I can listen to the radio on it, the 4 button works well AND it calls people! Yeah, bad-ass, huh?

Another thing I recently learned I love...is spellcheck on AOL. The other day I checked my spelling because I was unsure of a word (I usually just send it, but this needed checkin) and I had spelled it correctly. So, spellcheck went to another screen and it said, "you have perfect spelling!" If you ever need an ego boost: sign onto AOL, type in a word you KNOW is correct and check that shit! It's not the best way to turn your day around, but it's pretty cool! (it's the little things!)

I love my new shirts too! Today I wore the shirt that has a stage coach on the front and says "you have died of dysentery." A co-worker said she liked it and I asked her what her favorite part of the game was. She looked at me like I had strangled a cat, took its head off in one bite and then spit it at her! I assumed she hadn't ever played Oregon Trail and decided to ask everyone else if they had. 2 out of the 5 people had heard of it and I was under the impression that kids HAD to play that game! I feel bad for them because I love that game and I have some very fond memories of it! I explained the game to her and again, the look was one of surprise and hatred, because it apparently didn't sound like fun...idk, I love the damn game!
Memories...misty water-colored memories!

2005-10-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

I love me some weekends!

This weekend was a peach! Hung out with a friend I haven't seen in a while Friday night, went hiking with Annie and Marlena and then went to a Birthday party for another friend...that was interesting, not to mention a lot of fun! Sunday brought the Broncos game, which was SO much fun and made me want season tickets...so I'm going to try to get those for next year. If I'm lucky, I'll have them and if you're lucky, I'll take you! Now, for your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures...with some commentary of course!
Ok, this really reminds me of the Titanic...no boat and two girls, but you get it. In fact, I would be willing to bet there has been a movie called the Titanic with two girls and no boat, but you can't get it at many video stores and the ones you can find it at, you'd have to go to the little room where all the naughty movies are. Did I take this too far?

Annie, doing the goat...huh huh. Seriously, probably the BEST impression I've ever seen. Between this and the guys ass atop the rock, we had ourselves a good time.

Ok Marlena, be the tree! It's good, but you need to...branch out a little! Hahaha

I'm showing off some of my skills in this one. That's right, along with my sweet bow staff skills and my ability to talk to hot chicks, I have sweet rock climbing skills. If the light were better, you might be able to see my guns!

There's a reason why Annie has the nickname "poof." How do you think she got up in the tree in the first place?

So, these are from the hike and the other pictures will be on snapfish.com. The others won't fit and as much as I'd like to make a new post and add commentary, I'll let the pictures do that talking. Check them out, here's the info.

www.snapfish.com

username: mnofmyst@aol.com

password: myname

2005-10-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

This will be short...but not sweet

So, as some may know, I had a summer of extremes...meaning, I had a great time between Hawaii and South America, but I also had a lot of legal/general troubles.
Well, today I had to go drop off something at the courthouse saying I had completed my "Party Partners" class (part of the legal troubles). For those who aren't quite sure what this is, it's a class that teaches people how to have a party without disturbing or disrespecting your neighbors. You may also know I throw one hell of a party...since sarcasm is hard to convey with only written words, let me tell you that the party I was having was the second LEAST rowdy or loud that I have ever had. The first goes to a B-day party in which parents of the friend were there...along with grandparents. Both of these parties brought police to my doorstep...yet when I have a band in my basement and we go through three kegs, no cops...or when there are about 30 people in my front yard laughing at me at 5am because I passed out in the grass, no cops. Anyway, sorry about that tangent. This is about something completely different.

Today, as I was entering the courthouse, I had to go through the beloved metal detector. I do the usual routine...empty my pockets, take off the watch, forget about the belt and set the damn thing off. Well, today I was in a good mood and decided to try to get a laugh out of the guy. So, I walk back through and take off my belt, look at him with a worried face and say, "well, I hope that's what was setting off the detector!" He didn't laugh, but kinda smirked at me and I proceeded through the damn thing and didn't set it off. Not taking the silence as a hint that this guy's uptight, I blew a sigh of relief as I passed through without beeping. The grin was a little less smirky and a little more happy, so I smiled at the guy and asked how he was doing. Just then a lady came walking behind him and said "hi" using his name (they obviously knew one-another and she probably worked there, so there was no reason for her to go through the BS I was). Since she didn't come through the metal detector, and I was in a sassy mood, I said, "that's not fair!" At this point I was all suited up...pockets full of metal again and my "metal detector setter offer" in place. As I start walking away he says, "if everything were fair, you'd be in hell." I didn't know what to do, so I turned around to judge his facial expression, which was all grins and not telling me a thing, so I said, "sir, I'm an angel." Then I turned, ignoring the urge to tackle him and shove my belt up his ass, and walked away. Who knows, maybe he has a tendency to get a little too comfortable with people he doesn't know and says things like that. I'm sure I'm guilty of it...I know I am, but I have never said anything like that without some truth to it. So, I hate that guy and I had to vent...not to mention, it's pretty damn funny. ;)

Ok, so that wasn't too short, but he pissed me off this afternoon and I thought I'd share.

I wish Nunzilla were there today, so she could lay the 12" smack-down!

2005-10-11T17:37:00.000-07:00

Are YOU at risk?!

Today at work, some of my co-workers were talking about the avian flu that might pose a big problem in the future. One described it as an avian virus (not able to infect humans) that has somehow either mixed with a human variation of that virus or mutated into a different viral form.

Some of my co-workers started really freaking out and talked about some of the other things they have heard. One girl said, "I heard that if you have a work-at-home job you should leave the house as little as possible and stock up on food." Another said she had heard "this is going to be the worst flu epidemic in human history." I couldn't help but laugh, because there has been very little reason for her to think that...I mean, where did she hear about this? Regardless of where she heard that, I read this in an article in Business Week:

"The current avian flu outbreak in Asia is the fifth since 1997 to infect humans. This has raised a red flag for infectious disease experts, who fear the strain could mutate and spark a devastating flu pandemic -- a worldwide epidemic such as the so-called Spanish flu of 1918 that killed at least 40 million people."

Ok, it's good to be prepared, but scare tactics make things worse in my opinion and that's all this is. Sure, there's a possibility and we shouldn't just look at this as a minor viral threat, but to compare it to something in 1918, when there was not much in the way of medicine and if there was a vaccine, it was very hard to get it somewhere in time. Things have changed! Be prepared, but don't get all uppity! Despite what I had read, I decided to do some further research...mainly because I wanted to find out how an avian virus COULD infect humans. What I found was startling!

I thought to myself, "how in the world could something that can only live inside a bird (shown to left) make a transition to a human being?! There has to be some sort of hybrid or middle stage that allows for this transition!"
So I looked at this picture of a chicken and a picture of a normal human being (shown below, although abnormally hot) and thought...I thought long and hard and how my thoughts did run! That's when, out of nowhere, I had a flashback of a scene from a seemingly pointless and unrelated movie! Super Troopers! Read this little Gem and tell me that it's not obvious what happened!

Farva: "License and registration... chicken fucker."

Wow! Right?! I just need some proof now! Something HAD to be out there that provided an air-tight case to show the world how this kind of thing really happens! Well, after countless nanoseconds, waiting for Yahoo to answer my query...I found
this...Please, sit down before you look!

Not only does this give PROOF of a hybrid man-bird...bird-man thing, it also shows a general abhorrence for humanity. Just yesterday I had a run-in with something similar. Driving my...bike...around, I came across a person who lacks human respect...he gave me the bird too! That's right, a human lacking respect for other humans! Think of what kind of hatred or malice a creature bred with genes from a ruffian (such as the one I ran into) and an avian (from which the term "the bird" was coined) could posses! It's not a pretty picture, but something we should really focus on...

Tomorrow, when this subject comes up again, I'll definitely bring this up! Hope I could save a few lives or at least help rid the world of some incorrect theories on the origin of trans-species viruses.

Huge mistake!

2005-10-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

Welcome! This is the first of...probably not many. I just wanted to be like everyone else. ;)

This first picture SHOULD be me looking like an idiot (I know what you're thinking: "he must have fixed it...he sure looks like an idiot to me!"), but since I'm not too "blogger savvy" yet, the first picture is of me and my sister atop Waynapicchu, which means "little mountain." This was taken on our trip to Machu Picchu, which means...yep, you guessed it, "big mountain." There's another mountain (almost everything in their culture was in threes...so there were three mountains that had a specific meaning to the Inca). Unfortunately, and I'm sure you're dying to know, I cannot recall the name of the third...

This is a picture of my sis in the light of the rising sun from our sunrise hike to the top of Machu Picchu. It was so beautiful!

These pictures are out of order, but I'm not too concerned...
Below is a picture of Kate and me on top of a >14,000 ft. pass on our trek to Machu Picchu. I was told there would be no snow and the weather would be great, since it rains 2 days out of the winter/dry season at these altitudes...we hiked during rain and/or snow the whole time and I brought ONE long-sleeved shirt and a poncho and, due to my awesome sweat-genes, I drenched that shirt right quick! I was cold...

Here's that picture...and a general view one might have of me at no particular point in time. I'm sure you've all seen this face before.

Back to South America! Did you think I was done?! Here's a view of what everyone thinks of when they think of Machu Picchu. The mountain behind it is Waynapicchu, mentioned above.

This could quite possibly be the first and last post on this, but as the pictures roll in...I might as well post them. I should have some classics this coming weekend, so stay...blogged on! AHHHHAHAHA!